JOKE OF THE DAY

Joke

A girl was with her father when she saw her boyfriend
coming

GIRL: Have you come to collect your book titled "DADDY IS AT
HOME?" by Ngozi Okafor

BOY: No, I want that your hymns book called "WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?"

GIRL: I don't have that one but may be you should take
the other one titled "UNDER THE MANGO TREE" by
Chimamanda Adichie

BOY: Fine, but don't forget to bring "I WILL CALL YOU IN 5
MINUTES" while coming to school

GIRL: I will also bring you a new one too titled"I WON'T LET
YOU DOWN" by Chinua Achebe
Then;

DAD: Those books are too many, will he read them all

GIRL: Yes dad, he is very smart & intelligent

DAD: Okay don't forget to give him the one on the table
titled "I AM NOT STUPID, I
UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN SAYING" by
Shakespeare! And also the one on the dinning table titled
"IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO GET MARRIED"
by Wole Soyinka

Hahahaha..... common don't leave it there pass it on because you never know
who needed just a smile.

MY MATES

My mates are getting married.
My mates are getting good jobs.
My mates are succeeding.
My mates are living overseas.
My mates are buying cars.
My mates are building houses.
My mates are this......my mates are that......
It's a pity you literally forgot about your mates in the mortuary, your
mates in the psychatric homes, your mates are roaming on the streets,
your mates are jobless, hungry, blind, deaf..........
You might not be where you wish to be but you have obviously
transcended from where you were yesterday.
Be thankful.
Do you know:
Only 2months left and we say bye bye to 2014?
Some slept yesterday and didn't wake up today?
We're sinners but God showed mercy?
God still has plans for you before the year ends?
Some mates are there in jail without committing any crime?
You ate last night but some didn't or couldn't?
You have work and sources for daily living while some have nothing to look up to
You are alive not because you are faithful or because you have never sinned before but it is the MERCY of God Almighty that kept you alive. Can you just appreciate God by sharing this message to 10people in your list AS A Big 'THANK YOU GOD.

PRAYING TIME

TIME TO PRAY ****
LEAVE WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LET US  PRAY!!!
(just 2 minute)
Almighty Father
creator of Heaven and earth and
everything in between, We humbly come before you with thanks giving in our hearts, asking for your never ending mercy. We lift your name on
high, above any name that has ever existed, our father and creator, we ask you to bless, protect and to pour your supernatural favor upon us, our children, spouses and friends.
God we ask you today for divine
intervention in our lives, we ask
for your touch in all areas of our
lives, be it a new job, promotion,
freedom from debt, rebuilding of our relationships with our spouses and friends. Father any situation you touch, we believe it can never remain the same. Father in heaven, let your will be done in our lives as your decision in our lives is the best and will always be the best, please send double portions anointings and blessings in the quickest time to the person who will share this.. as your name is  being worshiped and glorified by multitudes In the name of your only son, our personal Savior, Jesus Christ. AMEN!!! God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor. If you believe, share it. If you don't believe, leave it. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close. If you need God to open some doors for you....
KINDLY FORWARD/SHARE THIS TO YOUR contacts
As your enemies gather to plan your downfall and set backs, God shall confuse and dismiss them in SEVEN directions. You shall be blessed SEVEN times more untill the blessed call you blessed. If you believe it send/share this to at least SEVEN most special people in your life within the next SEVEN minutes and watch what happens in SEVEN days from today. Don't forget to count the days.

Check it out

Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any - Albert Macauley (1872)

He who says nothing lasts forever has never tried Hausa perfume - Nelson Mandela (1973)

He who completely unwraps moimoi and gala before eating cannot keep a secret - Abraham Lincoln (1864)

Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup, with his eyes wide open, is not afraid of anything - Williams Shakespeare (1900)

Anyone who graduates without experiencing a strike, has never been to Nigeria - Lord Lugard (1904)

He who refuses to mix agege bread and akara as a type of sandwich is a racist - Martin Luther King jnr (1788)

Any man who drinks Alomo bitters without squeezing his face, is capable of murder - Michael Faraday (1899)

Drinking Garri doesn't mean u're poor, but allowing the Garri to swell b4 drinking is poverty - Queen Elizabeth (1893)

He who runs around looking 4 scissors to cut indomine seasoning sachet is not hungry - Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947)

No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook yam - Goodluck Jonathan (2013)

Anyone who reads this without laughing is either looking 4 job or needs salvation badly - Barack Obama (2014). 

Don't laugh alone but share it.

Boko Haram militants allegedly plot to launch the massive attack on Borno State capital Maiduguri during Sallah festival. - See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/03/boko-haram-plan-multiple-explosions-maiduguiri-sallah-military/

According to Sahara Reporters the Nigerian military learnt that the sect plan to carry out multiple explosions. To prevent the tragic development the military announced strict measures regrading the movement of vehicles in Borno.

Army’s 7th Division spokesman Colonel Sani Usman said in a statement that information“at the disposal of security agencies reveals that Boko Haram terrorists have perfected plans to launch multiple bomb explosions in Maiduguri metropolis and other major towns across Borno State during the Eid El Kabir celebrations 2014 using motor vehicles, tricycles, etc. Their main targets include Sallah praying grounds, markets and other public places.”

Vehicular movement will be banned in Borno from 5 p.m. today, October 3, to 7 a.m. on Monday, October 6.

Usman urged Nigerian Muslims to perform Eid El Kabir prayers at praying grounds close to their homes adding:

“While necessary security measures are being implemented, members of the general public are hereby requested to comply fully with this embargo as defaulters will be severely sanctioned.”

The spokesman stated however that workers of hospital and other essential services make an exemption from the order.

Nigerians were asked to remain vigilant and report any suspicious objects, movements and persons to the nearest security agencies.

It would be recalled that reports about possible attacks on Maiduguri first surfaced last month and were based on the gathered intelligence. The information emerged as Boko Haram continued seizing news Nigerian towns and declaring caliphate in the captured territories.

Amid the fears that the state capital might be soon fall under control of the insurgents, soldiers soon started evacuating families from two major barracks.

However the Nigerian military have recently repelled several attacks on Konduga town, which was supposed to become a gateway for storming Maiduguri. In September 17 operation the the Nigerian defence claimed the army had killed the impersonator of Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau. Still, yesterday “Shekau” appeared in the new video saying he is still alive, but the DHQ called the information provided in the new video a manipulation.

Dimeji Bankole’s 7-Year-Old Daughter With Sickle Cell Disease Died - See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/03/dimeji-bankoles-7-year-old-daughter-sickle-cell-disease-died/#sthash.e29oNiGv.dpuf

According to the official statement released by Bankole’s grieving family, the girl was born with HBSS Sickle cell disease. Initially the girl was treated at a Lagos hospital but later

was transferred to a London hospital.

Yewande passed away at 10.30pm on Wednesday October 1st, 2014 in London, UK. Her remains were buried according to Islamic rites. Yewande is the grand daughter of Chief Alani Suara Bankole and the daughter of former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Dimeji Sabur Bankole.

Sickle-cell disease or sickle-cell anaemia is a hereditary blood disorder, characterized by an abnormality in the oxygen-carrying haemoglobin molecule in red blood cells that leads to a propensity for the cells to assume an abnormal, rigid, sickle-like shape under certain circumstances.

Sickle-cell disease is associated with a number of acute and chronic health problems, such as severe infections and attacks of severe pain and an increased risk of death

Gulder Ultimate Search 11 Kick Starts

 Who would believe that from 3rd of October, a little fishing village called Aguleri in Anambra state will be the source of entertainment for millions of Nigerians around the world? The small community known simply as the food basket of Anambra is hosting the longest running Nigerian reality show, Gulder Ultimate Search which is now in its 11thseason.

Incidentally, Anambra has already produced 3 out of the past 10 winners, and this year, there are 3 candidates in the competition from that state, Delta also has 3 candidates.
GUS 11 has so far been a season of mystery, as the organizers have kept fans on their toes from day one with a mysterious call to ‘a mission’ preceding the announcement of the show’s return which was then followed by even more mystery- where was the host? How many contestants? What was The Mission??
Speculations were finally laid to rest on the 6th of September, in typical GUS fashion, as many fans were stunned at the revelation that this year, for the first time, there will be 14 contestants competing for the 10 million naira cash prize of and a brand new Ford explorer.
From 3rd October, you can watch all the action and adventure, anchored everyday by the shows longstanding host Chidi Mokeme on African Magic, Real Stars, Minaj TV Obosi, AIT Network, Ebony Life TV, Galaxy Lagos, Ibadan & Ondo, Hip TV, Nigezie or WapTV at 10pm.
- See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/02/finally-gulder-ultimate-search-11-kick-starts-friday-october-3rd/#sthash.4V3ozrlz.dpuf

Who would believe that from 3rd of October, a little fishing village called Aguleri in Anambra state will be the source of entertainment for millions of Nigerians around the world? The small community known simply as the food basket of Anambra is hosting the longest running Nigerian reality show, Gulder Ultimate Search which is now in its 11thseason.
Incidentally, Anambra has already produced 3 out of the past 10 winners, and this year, there are 3 candidates in the competition from that state, Delta also has 3 candidates.
GUS 11 has so far been a season of mystery, as the organizers have kept fans on their toes from day one with a mysterious call to ‘a mission’ preceding the announcement of the show’s return which was then followed by even more mystery- where was the host? How many contestants? What was The Mission??
Speculations were finally laid to rest on the 6th of September, in typical GUS fashion, as many fans were stunned at the revelation that this year, for the first time, there will be 14 contestants competing for the 10 million naira cash prize of and a brand new Ford explorer.
From 3rd October, you can watch all the action and adventure, anchored everyday by the shows longstanding host Chidi Mokeme on African Magic, Real Stars, Minaj TV Obosi, AIT Network, Ebony Life TV, Galaxy Lagos, Ibadan & Ondo, Hip TV, Nigezie or WapTV at 10pm.
- See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/02/finally-gulder-ultimate-search-11-kick-starts-friday-october-3rd/#sthash.9t0k21TY.dpuf

Gulder Ultimate Search 11 Kick Starts

 Who would believe that from 3rd of October, a little fishing village called Aguleri in Anambra state will be the source of entertainment for millions of Nigerians around the world? The small community known simply as the food basket of Anambra is hosting the longest running Nigerian reality show, Gulder Ultimate Search which is now in its 11thseason.

Incidentally, Anambra has already produced 3 out of the past 10 winners, and this year, there are 3 candidates in the competition from that state, Delta also has 3 candidates.
GUS 11 has so far been a season of mystery, as the organizers have kept fans on their toes from day one with a mysterious call to ‘a mission’ preceding the announcement of the show’s return which was then followed by even more mystery- where was the host? How many contestants? What was The Mission??
Speculations were finally laid to rest on the 6th of September, in typical GUS fashion, as many fans were stunned at the revelation that this year, for the first time, there will be 14 contestants competing for the 10 million naira cash prize of and a brand new Ford explorer.
From 3rd October, you can watch all the action and adventure, anchored everyday by the shows longstanding host Chidi Mokeme on African Magic, Real Stars, Minaj TV Obosi, AIT Network, Ebony Life TV, Galaxy Lagos, Ibadan & Ondo, Hip TV, Nigezie or WapTV at 10pm.
- See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/02/finally-gulder-ultimate-search-11-kick-starts-friday-october-3rd/#sthash.4V3ozrlz.dpuf

Ultimate Search

Who would believe that from 3rd of October, a little fishing village called Aguleri in Anambra state will be the source of entertainment for millions of Nigerians around the world? The small community known simply as the food basket of Anambra is hosting the longest running Nigerian reality show, Gulder Ultimate Search which is now in its 11thseason.
Incidentally, Anambra has already produced 3 out of the past 10 winners, and this year, there are 3 candidates in the competition from that state, Delta also has 3 candidates.
GUS 11 has so far been a season of mystery, as the organizers have kept fans on their toes from day one with a mysterious call to ‘a mission’ preceding the announcement of the show’s return which was then followed by even more mystery- where was the host? How many contestants? What was The Mission??
Speculations were finally laid to rest on the 6th of September, in typical GUS fashion, as many fans were stunned at the revelation that this year, for the first time, there will be 14 contestants competing for the 10 million naira cash prize of and a brand new Ford explorer.
From 3rd October, you can watch all the action and adventure, anchored everyday by the shows longstanding host Chidi Mokeme on African Magic, Real Stars, Minaj TV Obosi, AIT Network, Ebony Life TV, Galaxy Lagos, Ibadan & Ondo, Hip TV, Nigezie or WapTV at 10pm.
- See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/02/finally-gulder-ultimate-search-11-kick-starts-friday-october-3rd/#sthash.9t0k21TY.dpuf

Who would believe that from 3rd of October, a little fishing village called Aguleri in Anambra state will be the source of entertainment for millions of Nigerians around the world? The small community known simply as the food basket of Anambra is hosting the longest running Nigerian reality show, Gulder Ultimate Search which is now in its 11thseason.
Incidentally, Anambra has already produced 3 out of the past 10 winners, and this year, there are 3 candidates in the competition from that state, Delta also has 3 candidates.
GUS 11 has so far been a season of mystery, as the organizers have kept fans on their toes from day one with a mysterious call to ‘a mission’ preceding the announcement of the show’s return which was then followed by even more mystery- where was the host? How many contestants? What was The Mission??
Speculations were finally laid to rest on the 6th of September, in typical GUS fashion, as many fans were stunned at the revelation that this year, for the first time, there will be 14 contestants competing for the 10 million naira cash prize of and a brand new Ford explorer.
From 3rd October, you can watch all the action and adventure, anchored everyday by the shows longstanding host Chidi Mokeme on African Magic, Real Stars, Minaj TV Obosi, AIT Network, Ebony Life TV, Galaxy Lagos, Ibadan & Ondo, Hip TV, Nigezie or WapTV at 10pm.
- See more at: http://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/2014/10/02/finally-gulder-ultimate-search-11-kick-starts-friday-october-3rd/#sthash.9t0k21TY.dpufv